WISHFULL THINKING & FUTILITY

I so wish I could blame the whole Teadrinker mess on STL, but, at the end of the day, it's my own damn fault. No one made me do what I did for him. He does have a not small part in it[he could have paid on time and then none of this would have happened], but, I could have NOT bought into his con. I knew he was going to cause major trouble, I just never imagined how much or how long it would it would take. Of course he's still at it. He called this morning to say he was at the hospital, but would call again in 20 minutes and implied that he'd have the money sometime today. Of course he didn't, and I didn't waste any energy trying to call him back. He now is up to 2900, and knowing him, it will hit 3200 before he pays, and pay he will! I *did* go grocery shopping and am now set for the next two weeks or so.I somehow forgot to look for VCR tapes. Little did I know that AXN would be starting Highlander from the first ep today. They did and I wasn't ready. I'll have to go through my collection of tapes and see what can be taped over. Getting all the eps from ep # 2 is ok too.
I was lolling on the bed reading when the phone rang. It was Teaddrinker. She managed to spit out that the 1000 is a gift before I  reacted and hung up. Does she really think it's about the money? It's not, it's even more about her attitude towards it. I could shell out close to 4000, never say a word, then have to listen to her tell me how stupid I was to help STL, THEN be reminded in the rudest way possible that *I* owe *her* when all I did was be stupid enough to agree to let her help with the Benny debt. It's amazing and enlightening that she thinks it's about the money. It's not and never has been. I had managed to get through a whole day without thinking about it and being sad, then, boom, there she was again. Let go woman. I don't care what Rivka says, It's over, and not because of the money.
I saw Sonia at the grocery store and she took great delight in telling that now *she's* not talking to Orna and Danny. And Danny's her brother. Seems Orna is behind that, and that it was loud enough that she thought I  might have heard it. I really don't sit by the window waiting for the neighbors to have a loud fight. I have better things to do and when the break came with Orna it was silent. I just stopped talking to her.
I think I'll go make the soup for the couscous then read the Portland paper.