OF TOES AND BOLTS

My foot and toes are home and back at the computer after a somewhat painful, but, interesting weekend!
I was up in plenty of time Friday morning. Orna came in to help with the last minute stuff and off I went in a taxi to the Chop Shop in Haifa. I wimped out on taking the bus and opted for the not free taxi. We go there in record time and I rolled into the shop with the transparent glass kettles and bought one. I spotted a purple glass set of coffee cups and saucers and bought that too. Then it was up in the lift to the 5th floor, where the Chop Shop is. I handed over all the paperwork and fled in the direction of the stairwell for a couple of fags. There was a very nice lady puffing away out there and the subject turned to terror as it often does here. She was a peacnik. *Was* being the operative word. She actually understood what I meant when I told here that peace is all fine and well, but it's just not on if only one side wants it. The other side must as well. Of course it's possible that she was just agreeing with me to humor me before the op. At 0945 I rolled back to reception, where the OR nurse was waiting for me, and in we went. There was half a second of concern about how I'd get on the bed. As it turned out, the concern was warranted. Someone had forgotten to lock the wheels on the bed and if I'd just done my usual hop and plop I'd have gone flying. We got the wheels locked and I got on the bed and into that ever so fashionable open backed gown. There were forms to fill out and the gasspassser arrived with a list of questions. Dr. Sawbones joined the party, and it was off to the OR. I did my situp trick and demanded to know what time the fag break would be. Doc pushed me back down and I promptly popped back up. In my condition, situps are one of the things I'm physically not supposed to be able to do. When we got to the OR there was a very short discussion on how to get me on the table. I just did it to general amazement, then started again with the sit ups. They finally got the IV in and did the spinal, and then strapped my arms to extensions in the hope I'd stay down. Ha! I could still get my head up so they put a contraption up to block any chance of my watching them. The only thing I could do was watch the 'vitals' monitor. Boring, but better than nothing. I could feel that they were doing something down there, but no pain at all.
At one point someone came in and said there was a problem with the hospital part of the thing and I started imagining sorting it by cell phone while the operation continued. THAT would have been something! After 2 hours it was over and I was in recovery, still paralyzed from the waist down. After half an hour, it was up to the room. The feeling came back (no pain yet) and I found I was soaked. I was somewhat expecting this as I have bladder control issues anyway, controlled with handy dandy anti pee pills. I started freaking out and reliving the nightmare that was the hospitalization in Safed after the stroke. A nurse finally arrived and I had a very small hissy fit. He went and called Dr. Swabones who strongly recommended cleaning me up and getting me out of bed and onto BBC. This was accomplished and I headed for the closest stairwell equipped with both cell phones, a small jar of coffee and fags. The janitor was puffing away there on his break and very kindly offered to make me a cup of coffee. Fully equipped at last, I made a few phone calls, then rolled back to bed. I dozed a bit, the went to the loo and as long as I was up, back to my new Headquarters for a fag. Things went along pretty much like that until the leg started spasming. Sorry folks, there's just no way to stop the ouch. A new shift of nurses was on duty and they don't like yelling. I was smart and had packed a container of salt. Between the salt and pain stuff the spasms subsided enough for me to get two hours of sleep before being woken up for temp and BP checks. Dr. Sawbones wandered in at 0845 and checked the bandage, and changed it. He signed the release papers and I called Achy who appeared just before 1100. We headed for Kiryat Shemonah and stopped at KFC for a bucket, arriving at Gimp House just after 1300. Orna had turned on the a/c and propeller. Gimp House was divinely cool, not a/c-ish cold, but just right. Achy left and Orna came over. She made me what I am sure was the best cup of coffee ever, and threatened my life if I so much as looked at the computer. I dozed on and off most of the day and night. Sunday morning found me testing various methods of getting to and from the loo. I have it down cold now. Orna went to town and got the prescriptions for the pain meds filled and brought me a Mickey D's M&M icecream.
We had a meeting of The Council on my bed and I was a good girl and didn't touch the beer. Dr. Sawbones phoned just after they left to see how I was doing. That is unheard of here. I assured him that I was behaving and not doing stupid stuff. He is a dear. I was awake pretty late as I'd been dozing on and off all day. I can make coffee and take Peg out and bring him in all by myself.
yesterday was long and slow. Orna had a gig cleaning and I was left to my own devices. I had a call from the hospital informing me that I have to pay for the bolts in my toes! It's either 99 shekels each or for all of them. No matter, I get a partial refund. She'll call back later today and we'll put them on the Visa. I stayed in bed and read/watched TV. The spasms pretty much stopped and it hurt less to get to the loo, which requires both feet. Orna and I are going out on errands shortly, hence, my presence at the computer for the first time since I sent two e mails yesterday. There is now a very small bloodstain on the bandage, but it hurts a whole lot less. It was really painful when I sent the e mails because it hasn't been down since I got home. That's pretty much it. Not as bad as I thought it would be. It's almost 0800; time to get Peg in, dressed and ready to hit town. More later.....Maybe.