SHIVA

Strictly speaking, I'm cheating right now, and I'm sure the subject will come up when it's time for me to give my final accounting.
Shabbat cancels Shiva until Shabbat is over. Shabbat is a day of rest and has it's own long list of things that are not to be done, among them, using a computer. Granted, there is no specific mention of computers in the Torah, but anything that uses electrickery is a big no no. Be that as it may, I'll try to explain when the day comes.
This week has been a nightmare from hell. Trying to find out exactly when the funeral would be was easier than I thought. The day was included in the Notice of Death in the Palm Beach paper, so all I needed was the time, which I got with one phone call. As just about everything I ever knew about our mourning rituals was on semi permanent leave, it took Rav Malka one minute to remind me that "kriya" is done on the day, irrespective of time. He sent Miriam Senaness to do it. She looked a bit oddly at the garment I chose and I didn't get a chance to explain that I chose it because it is the same shade of blue as the suit I wore for my mother's funeral. His and Hers as it were.
As I am so disabled, I can't sit Shiva on a mattress on the floor, as is the custom here, so I'm sitting on my bed.
Being alone is the worst part. My daughter hasn't even bothered to call, never mind come. Everyone I know is shocked at her behavior. I'm not shocked, or even surprised, just very very sad. There really is no excuse for it.
I love living alone, and am trying to get my head around this being the downside of that choice, but it's hard. Just knowing that Dad was alive and well in Florida was a great comfort. That's gone now. Thank G-d for good friends like Elaine, Alice(and her parents), Jonathan, Etti, Orna, and Achi. I'd be in a padded cell by now if not for them. Aron surprised as well. He is forgiven for all that went before simply because he had the heart to call and keep me as informed as possible. He even called yesterday and told me about the funeral. In spite of his having attended religious schools here, he either forgot, or was off rollerskating during the lessons on mourning. He truly thought I didn't have to do "kriya" as I wasn't at the funeral. That is simply not correct, and if it were, Rav Malka wouldn't have sent Miriam to do it. Even *I* knew that. It helped knowing that he was there and said Kaddish. The hour of the burial was the hardest of all. I thought I'd never stop crying, but I eventually did.
It's almost surreal. Dad is gone, and in spite of everything (and there was a lot) I am truly mourning. I didn't think I would, but, here I am. There was such comfort in just knowing he was there(I repeat myself) and now he's not. It's just me and The Jeffey now. We'll have a good cry together when I go there in the spring. He's a good kid, and I'm glad that Dad knew that he wasn't the screw up Dad always thought he was, and even had a phone call from Dad to that effect. It helps to know that at least that got sorted.