THE DEATH (and life) OF A SALESMAN THE PHILMORE

The Philmore is about to have the plug pulled on his life, so this is as good a time as any to write about him. The Philmore was born in 1922 in Biddeford Maine. He had 3 brothers and 1 sister. He went to school in Biddeford, then to Bowdoin College in Brunswick. He was in the Army during WWII, came back to Maine, then got his masters degree in Theoretical Mathematics from Lehigh University. He married my mother at the old Synagogue in Old Orchard beach, they moved to Brunswick and he opened Phil's Army Navy Surplus Store which at some point became Phil's Mens' Store. I arrived in 1951 to bring chaos into their lives and my brother appeared 3 years later. We lived on what is still today, the nicest residential street in town, directly across the street from Longfellow School. Sometime in the 60s The Philmore bought J.E. Davis Company and Mom was the fashion power there, while Dad was the business brain. Both stores did well and when the first shopping center was built out by the Navy base, they opened a store there, closed the Mens' Shop and called the new Mens and Ladies as well as what was JE Davis Co. store The Canterbury Shop.
I long ago realized that The Philmore really wasn't cut out to be a father, but he did the best he could and the things that I saw then, are now, in the mirror of hindsight the very things that made me what I am today. He put me to work in the store at the age of 10 wrapping gifts during the Christmas rush so that I could earn the money for the stereo I wanted. He then marched me into the stereo store and chose the stereo for me. I hated that he always favored my brother and The Jeffey always got stuff but never had to work for it. My first bike was a battered second hand Schwinn he bought from our vet's daughter for $15 while The Jeffey got a brand new one. The Jeffey got new skates twice a winter, while I had to work at the store for mine. I resented that for years, but finally understood that those are the very things that turned me into the selfsuffient, independent cuss I am today. I also understand now that he wasn't that way because of meaness, it was because I was and am capable, but The Jeffey wasn't. He always tested borderline retarded so with the perspective of adulthood, and years away, it's ok, and the only way it could have been. Most of the issues between us were a direct result of us being so much alike: stubborn, smart, and determined, things that have stood in good faith for me over the years. When I decided to come to Israel right after high school, he was proud and certain that I'd come to my senses and come home to go to college. I did, but with an Israeli I married over there. I went to POGO U-University of Maine Portland Gorham while working full time and having 2 babies. All was well until Mom got cancer. I quit school because it was just too much to handle with 2 small kids, a full time job and an ill mother. Mom died in '79 and a year later I was back here with the kids and The Philmore was planning and plotting to get me to go back there. His plan was to hand the business over to us, me and the ex. I wanted no part of it, and in the end the Ex bought the business and Dad and his new wife, The Wicked Stepmother moved to Florida permanently. The Ex, not being a business man ran the stores right out of business, but not before paying The Philmore off. The Philmore and I had more than few fights that resulted in our not speaking for several years. He was insulted that I refused to let him buy me an apartment in a building I had no desire to live in. Again, like father, like daughter. He just couldn't give anything without being able to completely control it. We got over that and have been on good terms for years now.
He enjoyed his life in Florida and played his three favorite games, golf, bridge and chess, frequently. he won big at bridge on his 83rd birthday.
He was a good man in an impossible situation with two kids like me and The Jeffey. I'm glad that he finally realized that The Jeffey wasn't the failure he thought he was. He's been married to the same woman for over 20 years, has kept the same job for more years than I care to think of, brought up 3 kids, the youngest severely disabled. When I pointed all that out him, you could hear the penny drop, but at least he knew it. It does sadden me that I never got to tell him how pleased I am with what I've done so far with life. It drove him nuts that I didn't stay in one job forever, and he never quite got that once a job bored me, I just go try something else. He was a firm believer in job security. I'm just not made that way. My successes are mine as are my failures and I have him to thank for having played such a large role in making me that way. It just makes me sad that now I'll never have a chance to tell him. I am, however, somewhat consoled by the fact that our last phone call was so good.