I've been hanging out at a conservative site lately and made a very good friend there. We've been e mailing back and forth for ages and have told each other just about all our deep dark secrets.
She's been going through a really bad time recently with her son and a good friend, who has cancer. She, herself has had some really bad health issues, but is pretty much over them now. She married a great guy who went all the way from California to Kentucky about a year ago to marry her. They made it through the first year and were settling down to enjoy each other when all the crap her son was going through kind of took over. Her poor son was in an impossible marriage with an even bigger bitch than my daughter, and the poor guy just couldn't find a reasonable way out. Another actor in the drama is his natural father (her ex) who is a freaking psychopath in his own right who contributed quite a lot to the whole situation. He did find an unreasonable way out and was found dead in his apartment (he'd recently moved out of their joint home) My guess is that he just couldn't take any more and left permanently in the only way he could. It seems he left notes that the family hasn't seen as yet.
In finding this permanent solution to his issues, he also left two kids without a father and his mother is shattered. The only bright thing is that she now has a husband to help her through this. Of course at this stage, he is as shattered as she is. He had started to feel that he was his son as well and they had gotten very close.
As her close friend, I ache and hurt for her, and will be on the phone with her as much as she wants so she'll have someone to listen and cry to.
She so doesn't deserve this, but, if she has to go through it, at least He arranged for her to have her new husband and me. Silver lining indeed.
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17 comments:
Franne,
I was just beside myself for Pepp. I cannot even begin to comprehend that one person could make another so miserable that they would take such extreme measures. Alas, I have seen it before in my n'hood where I grew up. Tommy left behind four little boys. The worst part is that the kids will probably hear nasty things about their Dad for the rest of their lives and he was really salt of the earth in comparison to the woman who mothered his children. Sigh.
Nobody deserves this kind of pain, least of all, Pat. I fyou can think of anything that might help, please let me know. I am not that far away...Nee
Unfortunately, I've seen this happen a few times in my over 40 years. At least she's got Goshawk to help her get through it, along with the thoughts and prayers of all of us in the TH blogs (and the many prayer chains that we have activated).
As they say in a Catholic mass:
"Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us. Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us Thy Peace."
Franne,
I don't think I have left a comment with you before, but I want to tell you I appreciate your friendship with Peppermint2 (Pat) during her very trying time. All I can offer are my sympathies and prayers, but you have a relationship upon which she can lean. My prayers are with you, as well, as you offer your friendship to her.
Thanks
John
(bob's my uncle)
Nee, I've been there too, most recently with a neighbor's teenged daughter.It's a nightmare for her, but I am ever thankful for her friends at TH and that she has Gos to help her through this.
How far away is 'not far away'? I've spent the last few days kicking myself because I let myself be swindled out of a lot of money, and as a result couldn't hop on a plane to be with her. She needs love and empathy right now and big hug would be nice too.
Craw,
I think most of us have been through something similar in our lives. The fact that it happened to a friend did not make it any easier this time, in fact it made it harder because I'm too far away to be with her other than by phone.
We say something similar as well. I haven't stopped praying that both Pat and her son will find peace for their souls.
John,
I think you've left a comment or two at my TH blog. This is my personal blog, and even though it is set up for comments, it's not like comments at TH.
Thank you so much for your kind and suppotive words.
I just wish there was more I could do. The pain in her voice is like a knife in my heart. Prayers are gratfully received and most welcome. Thank you.
John,
Spelling lessons would be nice too.
Thank you again, PG, for the spot for the many concerned. And my prayers are with you too, as well as her and her husband. They've been a blessing to many others. Please pass them on to her. J-xp
J-xp
Thank you for the comforting words. I will pass them on when we speak in a little while.
Lucie, first I want to thank you profusely for all you have given me and done for me through this ordeal. No words can express my gratitude for you being there for me. You are a rock and one I know will not dissolve or wash away with the tides.
Thank you so much for writing this article and giving those who wished to, a place to express themselves and send their support and prayers.
Nee, Craw, John and xpressit,
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all the kindness, support and prayers being sent my way. I don't know how I would have gotten through these first 6 days since my son died if it were not for all the outpouring of kindness from people such as yourselves.
Indeed just as Craw and Willibeaux told me, the prayers of all will lift me up and they have in a palpable way. God is hearing all your prayers and helping me get through this awful tragedy.
I was told by my son's estranged wife that Jeff, my son, had committed suicide, but the coroner has told me they have not determined that. They do not even have the test results back on the samples they have taken.
So, it may have been natural causes for all we know. Various things that I have learned since that first day do not point to suicide. But, again, this will be determined by the medical examiner.
My son was very ill and had been suffering with excruciating pain in his stomach and intestines for many months. The doctors were trying to find out what was wrong. Ron and I were due to take him to his endoscopy on Wed. the day after he died. They were going to look into his pancreas since that was the last place they had not yet examined, but his blood work on his pancreas was all off the numbers they should have been.
So, this could have been a naturally caused death for all I know right now. We will know more when we get the coroner's report.
Once again thank you all for everything you have done, your prayers, your comfort and support. What more could I ask for? I have been blessed to know all of you through TH.
And, God bless all of you too.
St. Gracie,
What can I say other than you are welcome and thank YOU for allowing me to be your friend. It is an honor.
Be of strong faith and heart in the days ahead.
Lucie
PG
I was so sorry to hear of Pepp/Pat's son. It's a horrible tragedy no matter what happened. We're not supposed to leave this earth before our children. This must be so hard. I can't imagine!
I nearly lost my youngest daughter several times when she was younger to illness and once my oldest daughter, that was enough for me. I lost my cousin to suicide 10 years ago today.
I don't know why these things happen. I also have two friends with cancer and neither has a good prognosis. Pat has enriched the lives of so many others, I'm glad that she has a husband by her side.
I will definitely keep her in my prayers. Thank you for being there for her. Miles don't matter when you need a friend, just knowing they are there is a relief. You are certainly a comfort I'm sure. -K
Lucie,
I don't know that it's an honor to be my friend, but I will take that one of the best compliments I've ever been given.
I must tell all who have posted here that Jeff's death was a suicide due to new information that I don't want to go into here as it is far too long and disturbing.
Now, we start the process again, knowing for sure what happened. My heart breaks again into a thousand pieces and I'm not sure I can ever put them back together again.
Thanks Lucie for all you've done for me.
str8
Thanks for your kind words, prayers and comfort.
Miles do not matter as you said and yes, Lucie has been here for me through thick and thin, forever being the kind and thoughtful person she is and the rock as I said upon which I have leaned.
With all that Lucie has gone through I don't know how she can give so much. But she never allows any bitterness to get in her way of living her life and helping others. Lucie is truly a heroine and an example for all of us.
This really is sad beyond words. Sad for a wasted chance at life, and sad for those left behind. You're a good friend to Pepp, PGimp, let us know anything we can do to help....
Davecat
Davecat,
This is indeed sad beyond words. It's always hardest on those left behind.
The only thing we can do for Pepp is to continue praying and give her the time she needs to grieve and start healing. It will take a long time.
Thank you for expressing your concern.
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