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Last night was one of the worst I've had in a long time. That dad blasted burn kept me awake until 0330 when I fell asleep only to be awakened by it at 0500. I changed the bandage, then, because Peg was making 'I have to go out' sounds, I put him out and watched while he did his business from the wheely at the door. I had the newpaper deliverd right into my hand. At 0530 I brought Peg in, did the word puzzles in the paper and went to sleep. Plans for getting to the clinic in time for the blood letting ended up being changed to tomorrow because I got there well after the blood samples were picked up for their trip to the lab. I had my coffee, took care of e mails, then, got dressed and went out. First stop was a shop where I'd seen a lovely pair of purple sock slippers that just had to have. With them safely purchased I went upstairs to the clinic and had a short consultation with the nurse about the burn. We decided that I'd continue with the cream I'm using now, then, on Wednesday talk with the surgeon about switching to a different patch that won't start hurting after a few hours.
Then, it was off to the bank. That lovely new ramp was blocked by a car being parked on it, so I had to use one of the old ones that is too short and too steep. My banker let me pay the car insurance, and get some cash. for once my car insurance was paid on time!
When it was time to leave the building all ways of egress were blocked. That car was still on the ramp and grocery carts were lined up too far on one side to allow me go by. Into the grocery store I went and was told by the idiot who works the customer service desk to use the ramp. She refused to have the carts moved. Ok. Plan two. Ask a manager who ordered the carts to be moved. I almost forgot to take the insurance thing to my agent for them to copy and put in file. I glanced at the sky and decided to risk it. From there it was a straight run home. Had I not stopped to talk with Ayala for a few minutes, I would have missed the rain entirely, but as it started gently, I didn't get too wet! I'm counting it as missing the rain! Now it can rain for a month as far as I'm concerned! I got my grocery shopping done yesterday and am all set.
I freely admit it. I've been lazy this week and not posted here. In my defense, it was a busy week. Then it started raining. The rain pretty much messed up most of my plans. I don't have any proper shoes to wear, so even putting Peg out turns into a muddy mess just from the wet ramp and my feet get cold from the water my felt slippers soak up. A few meetings were canceled and I can only assume it was because of the rain. I might complain about the shoe issue, but I'd go out anyway. It's only water, after all and it wouldn't hurt a bit if a few pounds melted away.
On Monday there was a gimp chanukah party at the geezer club. I went for one reason. It's just not right if all Five of us are at an event like that. There were no geezers there. It was just for us gimps, but there were tons of kids there. I did manage to restrain myself from doing them any bodily damage while they were running around and making noise while eating a quarter or half of the traditional doughnuts. Yes, I know it's the parents fault, but the kids are easier targets. I could happily run over those adults who say stupid things like, "Kids will be kids" because, yes, they will, even when they become geezers. They will be infantile geezers with no idea of how to behave. At least everyone survived!
I got first prize with my cleaning lady! Gimp House is starting to look so much better. We had a bad moment yesterday when I almost slipped off the bed while putting the ace bandage on. That would have been really bad because I can't up from the floor myself and she's only maybe 5'2" so not much help!
On the really bright side, my bank account is finally ok. Within the agreed limits and I can even pay the cleaning lady and car insurance! At last. Granted I can't do much of anything else, but at least things are back on an even keel.
Yesterday was Christmas, so I called Alice for our annual chat, then I called a friend whose son killed himself recently. I'm feeling a guilty that we laughed so much. I know it's healthy to laugh, but, she's feeling rotten, to put it mildly so I had a vague feeling of discomfort over the hilarity. But it was Christmas. A day to be joyful on if ever there was one, I guess.
And here we are on Friday. I have to go out and get a few things; the local papers, and some tangerines. So, off I go!
We had a meeting today at our community center. They are doing finishing work on the parking area and access paths, and it's shaping up nicely. The available space for parking is a still a bit limited, so none of us were surprised that the person who parked next to Hezi didn't leave enough room for him to open his lift. As it turned out there was almost enough room, but even if it would have gone all the way down, there was no way for him to get on it.
That's Hezi's car to the left of the white one. After a short consultation it was decided that McGyver would get in through the driver's door and back the van up far enough for the lift to open. It pretty much had to be him because Hezi drives in his wheely so there's no seat for a driver.There's also the fact that Hezi drives with hand controls which neither Savta nor I are used to. McGyver also uses hand controls so, he was elected. The first plan was for Savta to lift McGyver's chair into the van, then for McGyver to climb into it and do the job from his chair. After he opened the driver's door he saw that he could do it without the chair, which he did.
Here the van is far enough out to lower the lift safely.
Savta helps McGyver out of Hezi's van and into back into his wheely. We are all feeling quite chuffed with ourselves! Yet another successful rescue. People just don't think when they park, and more than one one gimp has been stuck waiting to get into their van until the jerk who blocked the lift arrives and makes room to lower the lift.
With Hezi safely rescued I headed in to town to pick up two pictures I'd left with Itzik to develope that show that a newly opened store is not accessible. We are upset beause the law states that any new business must be accessible. Of course our previous mayor had no problem giving the license to open while they were in violation. Uh oh. I found McGyver at his clinic's pharmacy and had to laugh that the same make of car was parked so close to his that his chair lift only had a fraction of inch to spare. Of course, by the time he came out, a huge delivery van was blocking him from behind. I finally ran that driver down to earth and he moved his van. Today was not a good parking day for gimps in town! I'm thinking that all our local gimps would very much like their very own Five to solve these types of problems. Of course we do help anyone who needs if we can. It was just that today the rescues were of the Five by the Five.
My friend's sons death by suicide has brought the memories of Mark's flooding back. Mark was my partner in the motorcycle garage, and we were so in tune that just about everyone thought we were a couple. We weren't, but that has nothing to do with anything. He used to talk about watching his younger brother commit suicide and even hinted that he encouraged him. He would describe his parent's devastation. Several years after he closed the garage, I found out that he had killed himself with a gunshot to the head. His parents were out of the country at the time and were more than a little concerned that they couldn't find him when they returned. His father was a doctor and one day decided to check in the computer to find out when Mark had last gotten his prescription eye drops. I can but imagine his horror to find the word deceased next to his name. I can not begin to imagine the horror and pain of losing one child like that, never mind two. It's too terrifying to imagine. I am still furious with him for putting his parents through that, and even more angry at the way his parents had to find out. It certainly puts my insignificant issues into a whole new perspective.
I do like my car. It aced it's annual inspection test today, unlike last year. But this year I did locally and not at the rip off joint I went to last year because it was on the way to my orthopedist. See? Old gimps can learn new tricks.
I did have a bit of a moment when the tester asked why there's a ball thingy on the steering wheel. Duh. There's a nice large cripple parking card right under his nose, so I pointed to it and asked if he wanted to see my drivers license which requires it. They are illegal unless required because of cripple issues.
Moshe was a big help with the leg work and had some fun with one of our local businessmen who asked him if he had to bring his scooter in for a test too? Moshe teased him a bit, then told him he'd come with me to be my legs. I really can't describe the relief I felt at passing the test.
The morning started off a bit iffy. Just as I was going to get up from the computer to get dressed, the squits attacked and delayed everything. I had to get the clinic in time for a PT test and to the car inspection place in time to get through the usual long line of cars by 1100 when they stop inspecting. Just what I need. The squits and there's no time for 'crap' like that. Thankfully things settled down once I got moving. I got to the PT test in time, only to be delayed by the clinically insane wife of the thief who owes me a small fortune, then by people sitting on the bank of chairs at the entrance/exit to the clinic that I have to move to get out. I eventually got out, bought some fags and raced home to jump in the car and go. We got there in time, and finished in last place. It was after 1100 when we finished and they were starting to close shop.BUT WE GOT IT DONE AND PASSED.
Go Gimp!
All I wanted to do was get a pair of new tires for the car so it will pass it's annual test tomorrow. This, after running all over town in the morning; first to a meeting, then to the DMV because the car's lisence went missing, to the bank to get cash for the test, then to the Likud, to vote in the primaries, where a lawyer had to cast my vote by permision of a judge, then home to get the car for the tires. Harley got parked in his usual corner and off I went with the house keys, my change purse, and other keys still hanging on Harley's right hand mirror. When we got to paying for the tires, I had already written the two agreed upon checks and had to add 30 shekels for getting a hole in the rear tire fixed. It was then that I realized the key chain had been left on Harley. Ok, usually no big deal. As I was parking, Moshe called to tell me that his kids had seen Danny (husband of my ex friend/employee) take them off Harley and go home. I decided that I was too tired to go through the whole police thing and Ayala went to their house and told them to give her the keys, which they did, along with a lame story that they only took them because some kids were contemplating it. Yeah, right. They wanted to see me sweat. Well, guess who's sweating now? They know that I know and they didn't get away with it. Lucky for them all the money was in the purse, and the car is now ready for it's test. Moshe will take it tomorrow morning, and I have the cash to pay for it. I also have a new cleaning lady. She started this morning and I don't recognise my own kitchen. It gleams. She'll finish up in there tomorrow, and we'll go room by room until it's just a matter of maintenance. It's almost 1630 and I'm tired and hungry. Time for a rest and meal. Who else eats breakfast as it's getting dark?
There are times when I wonder if there is something really wrong with me. My friend's sons' suicide has triggered all sorts of strange thoughts. I have been close to three people who took their own lives and for all my empathy I simply can not understand what could bring someone to that. Oh, there was a time about 10 years ago when I desperately wanted to die, but never once did I ever think of doing anything, I just wanted to die. The demons that drive someone to kill themself must be very strong and evil.
While I have difficulty fathoming why one would commit suicide, I can and do feel the pain and anger of those left behind. It's something that never leaves you and it takes ages to start functioning again afterwards, and no matter what the circumstances were, there is always guilt on the part of those left behind, even where there should be none. The worst thing is that there are often those who should feel guilt, but don't. They are the ones who should suffer, but probably won't until it's their turn to give an accounting of their lives to the Ultimate Judge. They'll just continue their lives feeling martyred, not saddedened and they will blame everyone but themselves for the tragedy, and never once so much as think to ask themselves if they contributed to it in any way. I consider people like that to be the most cold blooded consienceless murderers. They cause someone they should have loved and supported emotionally to take their own lives, and to my mind that is the worst sin that can be committed.
Antone who read my previous post knows what brought this on. Today my friend has to go to a memorial service for her son and face those responsible for it. I've been praying all day that she will have the strength to get through it with her head held high. We know what 'they' did to him, and that in the end they will be Judged by the Highest Court there is.
I have also been thankful since it happened that her husband was Sent to help her through it. He does indeed work in strange ways, but, always, always, takes care of us.
I've been hanging out at a conservative site lately and made a very good friend there. We've been e mailing back and forth for ages and have told each other just about all our deep dark secrets.
She's been going through a really bad time recently with her son and a good friend, who has cancer. She, herself has had some really bad health issues, but is pretty much over them now. She married a great guy who went all the way from California to Kentucky about a year ago to marry her. They made it through the first year and were settling down to enjoy each other when all the crap her son was going through kind of took over. Her poor son was in an impossible marriage with an even bigger bitch than my daughter, and the poor guy just couldn't find a reasonable way out. Another actor in the drama is his natural father (her ex) who is a freaking psychopath in his own right who contributed quite a lot to the whole situation. He did find an unreasonable way out and was found dead in his apartment (he'd recently moved out of their joint home) My guess is that he just couldn't take any more and left permanently in the only way he could. It seems he left notes that the family hasn't seen as yet.
In finding this permanent solution to his issues, he also left two kids without a father and his mother is shattered. The only bright thing is that she now has a husband to help her through this. Of course at this stage, he is as shattered as she is. He had started to feel that he was his son as well and they had gotten very close.
As her close friend, I ache and hurt for her, and will be on the phone with her as much as she wants so she'll have someone to listen and cry to.
She so doesn't deserve this, but, if she has to go through it, at least He arranged for her to have her new husband and me. Silver lining indeed.
