SOME THINGS YOU NEVER EVER WANTED TO KNOW

I'll try to be as delicate as I can. While in hospital in Tiberius, the docs decided that I am constipated because I don't 'go' every day. My definition of constipated is not being able to go when you feel you have to. I remember clearly, my Uncle Doctor Kiddy Quack, aka, Uncle Maury, or The Yankee Clipper (he did circumscisions) telling my mother not to worry if us kids don't go every day, that what went in, will come out, and that that is one nuerotic obsession we don't need.
Right. So, while I've never gon every day, I can not remember a time when I had to go, but couldn't. Since March, things have been well and truly messed up in that department. Every single thing I ate came right back up, so nothing was getting through to make me go. Then I had the great shite bomb squits. Until yesterday, I was pretty much back to normal. I woke up feeling like I had to go. My morning coffee intensified that feeling, so I parked myself in the loo and waited. Nothing. Not a damn thing. I was up and down all day, had several coffees in the hope that they'd get things moving in the right direction. Nothing. I ended up staying in all day, just in case.
Things started off the same way today. While I was sitting there, it finally struck me that I was suffering from pschosomatic constipation, thanks to the docs in Tiberius. They put the idea in my head and my guts adopted it! So, I thought to myself, let's see if I can fake out my body. I got up and mixed up a glass of psyllium(Metamucil) and drank it right down and chased it with more water. It worked! I was out of the loo and off the bog in no time. I told my doc at the clinic about it and he had a good laugh over it with me.
I am quite pleased with myself